This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
