I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize