My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
