And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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