.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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