it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
