so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize