FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he quoted the bible to break up with me
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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