Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Bring me that man meat
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
