I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
someone owes me an orgasm
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize