I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
