There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
