I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
