It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
