1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
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You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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