I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Two words: nipple clamps
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