the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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