just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I would fuck him just for his dog
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize