I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
