what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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