Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
