I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize