Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It's rum buckets o'clock
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
