are you still at the devil's house?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I lost the right to judge tonight
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
