break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
