I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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