Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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