I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
