Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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