Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
