HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
