i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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