I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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