I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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