Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
