we're chasing vodka with high fives
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
