Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We had to coat check the pizza.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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