Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Still dying that you shit outside
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
