Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
