woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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