It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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