I want to have your abortion
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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