Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
