we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
