yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
