Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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