make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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