im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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