Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
