His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
