So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
