I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
