I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
