i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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