some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize