also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
