if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
