I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize